Unsafe at any Speed [Jim]
Yes, Clara’s birthday party was a rather raucous affair. Indeed, the only time that there was even something resembling calm was when Janet decided, on the spur of the moment, that it was time to play that always popular American Party Game of “Dead Dog.” [For those who do not know this most excellent game, it is played thus: All children pretend to be dead dogs. Whichever child resembles a dead dog for the longest period of time ostensibly wins, though all parents known that it is the adults who are the True Winners when every child is suddenly quiet and still.]
As for the question of a noted Engineer regarding how a rectangular cake could optimally be made to serve 41 people, I will note that this is exactly the problem with the Western Mindset. It seems that Westerners have this odd notion that all pieces of a cake should be the same size, but here in India, such linear thinking is eschewed. Obviously some people prefer larger pieces of cake than others and in India, the Cake Place People are able to discern how large a piece of cake each of the Customer’s Guests will want. I don’t know how they do this since I too suffer from a Western Education. The only other alternative that has occurred to me is that when they say 41 people they mean “41 other people.” Again, we Westerners have this strange Idea that the Customer is a Person, so perhaps a cake that serves 41 people serves 41 People plus the Unperson named “Customer.”
By the way it was a vegetarian cake—no eggs, since many Hindus don’t eat eggs. Picture a thin layer of cake at the top and bottom, with a thick layer of mousse or whipped cream or some such substance in the middle.
And Happy Diwali! It just ended, but Greetings of the Season nonetheless. Diwali (pronounced Dih-vah-lee) is the big Fireworks holiday. Kolkata does not have any of those strange bans of fireworks so prevalent in the US. And no “Safe and Sane” restriction either. Lots of Very Unsafe and Very Insane Fireworks. Great Fun. Emma and I stood out in the back of our apartment complex for a few hours watching people set off these marvels of Unsafe Explosions. Bottle Rockets ramming into the side of the building were not uncommon. One rocket in particular hit the side of the building, and ricocheted downward, landing about 3 feet from where Emma and I stood before exploding on the ground. Emma did not even flinch, making her Dad Very Proud.
At the Diwali Party in our apartment building, Clara and I won silver coins. It was the first time either one of us had won something at a Diwali Party. It is rumored to be Lucky to win a silver coin at Diwali, but I suspect this is one of those ex post prophecies—if you believe it is Lucky to win a coin, then to say winning a coin brings Luck is rather tautological. Then again, I don’t believe in Luck, so I am rather the cynic about such things.
There are two more Holidays this week. But, then there is a run of a few weeks with no Holidays. This Wednesday is also a Holiday at Emma, Lily and Clara’s School. It is the first Holiday their school has had since classes began in the second week of August. It seems that at Emma, Lily and Clara’s school, the Administrators see no need to close school for Indian Holidays since the Pupils are not Indian, nor do the Administrators see the need to close school for the American Holidays, since the Pupils aren’t in America. Emma, Lily and Clara seem to think this system is a trifle Unjust. So, the Administrators, out of sheer Kindness and Goodness, have decided to let them celebrate the end of Ramadan on Wednesday with a whole day of no School.
Other Notes:
1. Phelps was a good choice for the Nobel Prize in Economics. He is one of those guys who did enough to merit the Prize, but not so much that there was a big rush to award it to him. The Nobel Peace Prize is another odd Political Choice—microfinance is one of those great ideas but has had mixed-to-poor results in every independent study I have seen. How this sort of thing brings about *Peace* is beyond me.
2. I am very grateful for the Arizona Cardinals.
3. On October 31 [which oddly is Not a Holiday in India—I am not sure how they missed the opportunity to have another Holiday] I am giving an exam in my microeconomics course in the Retail Management program. I suspect it will be quite disastrous for a portion of the class. The students in this program seem to be all over the map in terms of intellect, aptitude for school, and desire to learn. On top of this, I am teaching economics and not management which presents an odd problem—some of the class has never had an economics class, others in the class have a masters degree in economics. I am expecting a tremendously large variance in scores.
4. They keep saying the monsoon season has ended, but then it keeps flooding again—for my recent exploits trudging home through knee deep water, you may reread any of the previous accounts of such journeys.
5. I hear that Mount Holyoke had a Teach-In Against the War. Sorry I missed it. Of course, it might have been nice if it had been a Teach-in About the War with people speaking on both sides of the issue; I understand that having speakers on both sides of an issue is the sort of thing they did at places which encouraged Thinking and Learning. I think they used to call such places “Colleges,” but such institutions became Extinct a Long Time Ago.
6. I was run into by a bicyclist today on the way home. He was traveling the wrong way on a one-way street. Janet had no Sympathy, but she did have a Moral: Look Both Ways Before Crossing a One Way Street in India.
7. Book Reports:
1. Amis, Time’s Arrow
A Failed Book. This is one of those books where the Author couldn’t decide whether to write a Comedy or a Social Statement. So, what could have been a very Amusing book ends up being a Tiresome Holocaust Story. The sad thing is that the premise of the book had such marvelous potential, which has now been destroyed. Does one applaud the author for having such an interesting idea or Scorn him for destroying it. If Leonardo had put a mustache on the Mona Lisa, would he deserve credit for painting a great work of art before the Mustache or scorn for destroying it?
2. Chattopadhyaya, Srikanta
Janet convinced me to read this book. It was the first modern Bengali novel, written in four parts spanning 1917 to 1933. The first two parts (1917 and 1918) were extremely good. Written around the time of Joyce, the book made an interesting comparison between East and West. The last two parts (1927 and 1933) were tedious, quite tedious. It’s too bad; the Novel had the potential to be Great.
3. Orwell, Animal Farm
Emma has to read this for School this week, so I though I would reread it. An inspired little tale. I suspect Emma will be Most Unhappy with the fate of Boxer.
4. Simon, California Suite
I think I saw the movie version of this decades ago, or maybe I just saw the commercials for the movie. My only memory of the movie is that it had Bill Cosby, Alan Alda and Tennis. I read the play. Dull. Very Dull.
As for the question of a noted Engineer regarding how a rectangular cake could optimally be made to serve 41 people, I will note that this is exactly the problem with the Western Mindset. It seems that Westerners have this odd notion that all pieces of a cake should be the same size, but here in India, such linear thinking is eschewed. Obviously some people prefer larger pieces of cake than others and in India, the Cake Place People are able to discern how large a piece of cake each of the Customer’s Guests will want. I don’t know how they do this since I too suffer from a Western Education. The only other alternative that has occurred to me is that when they say 41 people they mean “41 other people.” Again, we Westerners have this strange Idea that the Customer is a Person, so perhaps a cake that serves 41 people serves 41 People plus the Unperson named “Customer.”
By the way it was a vegetarian cake—no eggs, since many Hindus don’t eat eggs. Picture a thin layer of cake at the top and bottom, with a thick layer of mousse or whipped cream or some such substance in the middle.
And Happy Diwali! It just ended, but Greetings of the Season nonetheless. Diwali (pronounced Dih-vah-lee) is the big Fireworks holiday. Kolkata does not have any of those strange bans of fireworks so prevalent in the US. And no “Safe and Sane” restriction either. Lots of Very Unsafe and Very Insane Fireworks. Great Fun. Emma and I stood out in the back of our apartment complex for a few hours watching people set off these marvels of Unsafe Explosions. Bottle Rockets ramming into the side of the building were not uncommon. One rocket in particular hit the side of the building, and ricocheted downward, landing about 3 feet from where Emma and I stood before exploding on the ground. Emma did not even flinch, making her Dad Very Proud.
At the Diwali Party in our apartment building, Clara and I won silver coins. It was the first time either one of us had won something at a Diwali Party. It is rumored to be Lucky to win a silver coin at Diwali, but I suspect this is one of those ex post prophecies—if you believe it is Lucky to win a coin, then to say winning a coin brings Luck is rather tautological. Then again, I don’t believe in Luck, so I am rather the cynic about such things.
There are two more Holidays this week. But, then there is a run of a few weeks with no Holidays. This Wednesday is also a Holiday at Emma, Lily and Clara’s School. It is the first Holiday their school has had since classes began in the second week of August. It seems that at Emma, Lily and Clara’s school, the Administrators see no need to close school for Indian Holidays since the Pupils are not Indian, nor do the Administrators see the need to close school for the American Holidays, since the Pupils aren’t in America. Emma, Lily and Clara seem to think this system is a trifle Unjust. So, the Administrators, out of sheer Kindness and Goodness, have decided to let them celebrate the end of Ramadan on Wednesday with a whole day of no School.
Other Notes:
1. Phelps was a good choice for the Nobel Prize in Economics. He is one of those guys who did enough to merit the Prize, but not so much that there was a big rush to award it to him. The Nobel Peace Prize is another odd Political Choice—microfinance is one of those great ideas but has had mixed-to-poor results in every independent study I have seen. How this sort of thing brings about *Peace* is beyond me.
2. I am very grateful for the Arizona Cardinals.
3. On October 31 [which oddly is Not a Holiday in India—I am not sure how they missed the opportunity to have another Holiday] I am giving an exam in my microeconomics course in the Retail Management program. I suspect it will be quite disastrous for a portion of the class. The students in this program seem to be all over the map in terms of intellect, aptitude for school, and desire to learn. On top of this, I am teaching economics and not management which presents an odd problem—some of the class has never had an economics class, others in the class have a masters degree in economics. I am expecting a tremendously large variance in scores.
4. They keep saying the monsoon season has ended, but then it keeps flooding again—for my recent exploits trudging home through knee deep water, you may reread any of the previous accounts of such journeys.
5. I hear that Mount Holyoke had a Teach-In Against the War. Sorry I missed it. Of course, it might have been nice if it had been a Teach-in About the War with people speaking on both sides of the issue; I understand that having speakers on both sides of an issue is the sort of thing they did at places which encouraged Thinking and Learning. I think they used to call such places “Colleges,” but such institutions became Extinct a Long Time Ago.
6. I was run into by a bicyclist today on the way home. He was traveling the wrong way on a one-way street. Janet had no Sympathy, but she did have a Moral: Look Both Ways Before Crossing a One Way Street in India.
7. Book Reports:
1. Amis, Time’s Arrow
A Failed Book. This is one of those books where the Author couldn’t decide whether to write a Comedy or a Social Statement. So, what could have been a very Amusing book ends up being a Tiresome Holocaust Story. The sad thing is that the premise of the book had such marvelous potential, which has now been destroyed. Does one applaud the author for having such an interesting idea or Scorn him for destroying it. If Leonardo had put a mustache on the Mona Lisa, would he deserve credit for painting a great work of art before the Mustache or scorn for destroying it?
2. Chattopadhyaya, Srikanta
Janet convinced me to read this book. It was the first modern Bengali novel, written in four parts spanning 1917 to 1933. The first two parts (1917 and 1918) were extremely good. Written around the time of Joyce, the book made an interesting comparison between East and West. The last two parts (1927 and 1933) were tedious, quite tedious. It’s too bad; the Novel had the potential to be Great.
3. Orwell, Animal Farm
Emma has to read this for School this week, so I though I would reread it. An inspired little tale. I suspect Emma will be Most Unhappy with the fate of Boxer.
4. Simon, California Suite
I think I saw the movie version of this decades ago, or maybe I just saw the commercials for the movie. My only memory of the movie is that it had Bill Cosby, Alan Alda and Tennis. I read the play. Dull. Very Dull.
4 Comments:
I've got it. Assume that the rectangular cake has proportions of three to five, like the Parthenon. Our butler begins by slicing the cake in halves, or nearly halves. The slightly smaller half is then cut into 20 pieces, four times five. The slighty larger half is cut into 21 slices, three times seven. Now 41 guests will receive pieces of cake that are the same size, or very nearly so. Twenty guests will receive pieces that are square, or very nearly square. Twenty-one guests will receive slices attractively proportioned as two to one, or very nearly two to one. The approximations that would so trouble a western mind are of no consequence whatever to our revelers, whether eastern or western, young or old. Herein the mystery is revealed.
How can we present both sides of an issue at Mount Holyoke when our go-to The Other Opinion guy is in India? Anyway, I'm not sure I know anyone who went to the teach-in, so I think its effect on the political indoctrination of our students will be fairly negligible.
It's kind of difficult for Mount Holyoke to present the other side when the Other Side is in India. :D
Anyway, I don't know anyone who actually went to the teach-in, so I think its effect on our overall political indoctrination will be negligible, you'll be glad to hear.
Ooops, I thought my first comment had been eaten. Well, you can pick whichever comment flows better to read. I'm leaving now.
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