Cast Thy Nighted Colour Off [Jim]
The front page of today’s paper declares that the fine government of Kolkata, and for those who know not, Kolkata has long had a government run by the Communist Party, this most excellent government has stumbled upon a major technological advance which is sure to bring great happiness to this city. For centuries, nay millennia, mankind has been oppressed by the accumulation of unwanted matter. What is one to do with things which serve no purpose, the very refuse of a civilization? You ask, and the Communist Party of Kolkata has found the answer! Look no further, dear Reader. The Communists here have discovered [insert drum roll]…the Trash Can! [Insert Loud Hosannas.] Yes, that is right, the Communists who have run this city for decades have just decided to place trash cans on the streets so that the fine citizens of this metropolis can put their refuse into an approved bin instead of simply throwing it on the street. Sadly, the paper did not report the name of the individual who invented this mind-numbing new invention; what genius is responsible for discovering a bin which can hold trash? Let us all applaud the forward looking, cutting edge government of Kolkata. Perhaps other cities of the world will follow their example and discover the benefits of the trash can!
In another strange and wonderful-to-relate development, at work the other day I attended a discussion of “Disaster Management.” The school had arranged for an outside expert on this topic to come deliver a lecture to all the faculty of the Institute. Upon arriving in the room, I noticed the expert was accompanied by a bevy of aides, there to tape her wise words to our August Assembly. Said staff members were wearing bright (Very Bright) yellow shirts proclaiming the name of the organization to which they belong. What is this organization which is spreading out through the Land, helping the citizens of this country understand Disaster Management? They are [another drum roll]…Scientologists! Yes, Scientologists have come to this Land to educate one and all. The speaker began her talk with a very lengthy discussion of how one learns, reading many excerpts from that Master of All Knowledge, L. Ron Hubbard Himself. Sadly, the Natives became restless about 30 minutes into her 45 minute talk: “When,” they asked “are you going to talk about disaster management?” Such question was greeted by a broad grin; “I’ll get to that in a moment, sir, but first let me read you another fine passage from this sacred tome.” 40 minutes into the 45 minute talk, Disaster Management was mentioned. Ah, such wisdom. “Disaster Management,” we were told “is managing disasters.” [Yes, that is an exact quotation.] We were promised that if we enrolled in the “Full Course,” we would learn many other insights about Disaster Management; we could also, of course, buy some books written by the Master Himself. And, alas, we were out of time, so our expert was quite sadly not going to be able to answer any questions. A truly illuminating time was had by all; I suspect, however, that the Scientologists will not be invited back to the Institute any time soon.
On leaving work that afternoon, I passed by a herd of sheep being led down the street by three humble shepherds. Said sheep were presumably on their way to the slaughterhouse. One hopes there is no moral here.
In another strange and wonderful-to-relate development, at work the other day I attended a discussion of “Disaster Management.” The school had arranged for an outside expert on this topic to come deliver a lecture to all the faculty of the Institute. Upon arriving in the room, I noticed the expert was accompanied by a bevy of aides, there to tape her wise words to our August Assembly. Said staff members were wearing bright (Very Bright) yellow shirts proclaiming the name of the organization to which they belong. What is this organization which is spreading out through the Land, helping the citizens of this country understand Disaster Management? They are [another drum roll]…Scientologists! Yes, Scientologists have come to this Land to educate one and all. The speaker began her talk with a very lengthy discussion of how one learns, reading many excerpts from that Master of All Knowledge, L. Ron Hubbard Himself. Sadly, the Natives became restless about 30 minutes into her 45 minute talk: “When,” they asked “are you going to talk about disaster management?” Such question was greeted by a broad grin; “I’ll get to that in a moment, sir, but first let me read you another fine passage from this sacred tome.” 40 minutes into the 45 minute talk, Disaster Management was mentioned. Ah, such wisdom. “Disaster Management,” we were told “is managing disasters.” [Yes, that is an exact quotation.] We were promised that if we enrolled in the “Full Course,” we would learn many other insights about Disaster Management; we could also, of course, buy some books written by the Master Himself. And, alas, we were out of time, so our expert was quite sadly not going to be able to answer any questions. A truly illuminating time was had by all; I suspect, however, that the Scientologists will not be invited back to the Institute any time soon.
On leaving work that afternoon, I passed by a herd of sheep being led down the street by three humble shepherds. Said sheep were presumably on their way to the slaughterhouse. One hopes there is no moral here.
posted by Jim Hartley | 1:31 AM
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